12 weeks and Posion oak is E.V.I.L.

So here we are at 12 weeks, broaching the second trimester mark! How did that happen!? I'm so so very thankful to be here and feel a bit "unworthy" of feeling surprised I would make it here. I read so many blogs of precious ladies who are now pregnant after one or more miscarriages. And here I am, big 2nd pregnancy and have never had a miscarriage. I just have had alot of medical issues that made me fear that I would miscarry. And I still fear it. But I am so very excited for those that are doing so well that have faced loss, they so deserve it!

At 12 weeks I am just now starting to feel like a baby "bump" is about to happen. I have been "showing" for a couple of weeks now, mostly cuz I can't suck my gut in anymore so I really look 6 months pregnant. UGH. I started wearing maternity clothes a week ago after the ponytail holder trick started to become to uncomfortable. I have one of those belly bands and have a couple of pairs of pants that I use it with but I'm getting to where sitting in normal pants is just not cool for my very low belly area, too constricted. I already feel like a cow. Of course before getting pregnant I had all these magnificent plans of being 60 pounds thinner so that I would only have half of that to lose after baby but of course those plans never came to fruition. I actually weighed more than I have in a long time when I got preggo and that is just worrying the mess outta me, I'm gonna have a helluva time getting the weight off after baby. I am not a good dieter, will power is not a word I'm very familiar with, wish I knew where to find some of that.

Symptoms: nausea still rearing its ugly head every now and then, not constant though. Heartburn really bad some days, none others. Fatigue getting better but still not gone. I'd love to be able to clean more than one room of my house without feeling like I've run a marathon. Oh, and I ITCH like crazy! I posted about the oh so evil poison oak rash, it's still torturing me. Two weeks now. The oozing and ickiness have dried up but now I've got this large swollen inflamed area that I thought was turning into cellulitis but my derm has assured me it's just part of the awful immune response continuing. Man...is there any end in sight? I went to my ob yesterday to find out what he wanted me to do and he sent me to the derm who has decided to put me on low dose prednisone to try to knock it out. I'm not happy about having to take anything. My doc ok'd it and agreed I could take it or a shot. I opted for the pills cuz at least I have the option to stop them if my anxiety about harming the baby gets to be too much. What's crazy is a week ago, my ob refused to let me use a steroid cream to help with the itching, now this week he's ok with a shot or pills? Is there really that much difference in 5 days? I dunno, but I can't go on like this in misery. I get no sleep, I have to leave an ice pack on it all night long just to be able to sleep in small spurts, it's so hard not to just claw myself to pieces! On top of that, I now seem to be allergic to all laundry detergent and body wash. So more itching! UGHHH!! really? I know pregnancy is usually miserable but I'm supposed to be feeling pretty good at this point as I go into the 2nd trimester and that's just not happening. Oh well, I'm still happy I'm here.

Oh, and some GOOD news! When I went to the doc yesterday, he could not find the heartbeat with his dopplar so he sent me through ultrasound again just to make sure. Of course it was thumping away at 170 bpm. So I've gotten 2 ultrasounds in the last 2 weeks. LOVE!! And I posted last week about the bladder being enlarged which scared the mess out of me. Well I think this unexpected ultrasound was God's way of letting me know it's ok! The bladder now looks normal! Praise GOD!! So all the fear and anxiety and stress of the last week thinking something horrible was happening to our little one has just rolled off our shoulders. Apparently she/he just had to pee. lol. Man what a relief! But I will still go for the perinatal appt. tomorrow just to be sure all is well and we will see him again next week for the NT scan. Not sure why they can't do the NT this week but they are adamant that I need to be 13 weeks for that. Fine by me, just one more chance to see our precious baby!

So that's all the news for now. Hoping all goes well tomorrow and next week. Moving forward and so very thankful!!