CD14-O Day (I Hope)

I believe I am O'ing today. I had a positive opk yesterday and when I woke up this morning I felt horrible. I was nauseous, had a headache, and had some major cramps in my ovary areas. Started with the left side but by mid morning my right side started hurting. Right now both sides hurt and my back hurts and I'm soooo tired! 

We bd'd on Friday afternoon so I'm not counting on anything this month. Last month I was so disappointed when I wasnt pg (even though I knew I wouldn't be) that this month I'm planning for next month. At least next month I will more than likely O the day after my husband leaves instead of 3 days later. 

Yet another newborn has entered our lives, my cousin's wife just had her baby girl this morning. She is so beautiful! I sure hope we get a girl this time. I will be just as happy with a healthy little boy but I dream of a little girl with my blue eyes and tons of curly hair. I have been reading a series by Karen Kingsbury and the young girl is best friends with her mom. I know that's not always the case with most teenage girls but a girl can dream right? 

Well, guess that's all I have for today. I'm sorry I'm so very boring! I don't know that anyone even reads my posts but this blog has become a great outlet for my feelings and frustrations and I hope that one of these days my meandering musings might help someone else going down the same road.. :-) God Bless

Hurry up and Wait...CD11

Here we are again, waiting for my ovaries to fork over an egg. I took clomid earlier in my cycle (days 3-7) this time in hopes that I will ovulate sooner than I did last month. I talked to my obgyn about it (annual checkup yesterday) and he said that was fine, that taking it earlier "rallies" the follicles earlier. I think it also causes more to form, increasing the chance of multiples slightly, but who knows. I just know I've gotta O soon! I hate my husband's job...well I love that it provides a good income, but I hate the way they throw him around locations and never stick to what they say they are going to do. Their company breaks contracts constantly which means while they may have a 2 year contract in one location, it usually gets broken within 6 months and they contract with someone else. It's soooooo frustrating! They were supposed to be fairly close by this hitch so I could have driven halfway to his location to DTD when I O buuuut...now they are sending him to another rig that is 9 hours away.    Because they are still negotiating a contract     and his rig is down with no work    again.... Sooooo, it looks like our plans this month may be foiled again. Seriously!?? It feels like it will never happen. If I happen to O on Sunday or Monday, we may still have a chance to catch the sticky bean if  there are any soldiers left hangin around in there. Which I pray is what happens! But I'm not getting my hopes up.

I hate waiting, I'm not very patient, which may be why God is making me wait...to test me maybe? I'm not sure but I know I have no other choice but to hurry up and wait.

CD7

Today is CD7, day 5 of Clomid round 2. Pretty crampy today so I'm hoping that's a sign I might ovulate early! Not gettin my hopes up but staying positive! This 2nd round of Clomid is different than the first, the headaches are rough, and the hot flashes are more noticeable. But the exhaustion...it's unreal! I know I'll be this tired when I'm pregnant but it's not something I can get used to easily! I actually had to take an afternoon nap yesterday and thinking I might need one today too. Ugh, wish this week would speed up a bit!

We have all the kiddos tonight, that means a house FULL. A 15 yr old, 11 yr old, 10 yr old, 8 yr old, 7 yr old, and two dogs who might as well be kids too. Guess I better get used to it because eventually there will be 6 of them! lol but we will take it one day at a time. We are really hoping we can buy a new house in the next couple of years so we'll have more space. Our current house is 3 br/1 bath, about 1100 sq. ft. Pretty small for that many folks. And just one bathroom is insane!

Well, if you can't tell, I'm extremely bored with not much to talk about today. Guess I'll go do some work and pray quittin time comes soon so I can have a nap!!

On to Round Two..

Today I am on CD 4 and doing another Clomid round. My doc prescribed 50mg again but I am choosing to split them for 25 mg since last month was so awful (had MAJOR pain and bloating during O so I think I overstimulated). Also switched to days 3-7 instead of 5-9, hoping I will O sooner and not miss the egg!! Fingers crossed and prayers going up that this is our month!

Soooo, got some news yesterday, crazy news! My little sister is preggo! Now here's the kicker...she just had her second baby 2 months ago! How the heck did that happen?! She has PCOS as well, on BC, and breast feeding at the same time. What are the odds?? Well, I could choose to be sad or jealous or go into a pity party of how unfair it is that I'm not the one with preggo news..buuuut...I'm not gonna do that. I know that's not what God would want of me. And amazingly enough, while I did cry and call my best friend for some encouragement, I find that I am really very excited! I worry about her of course having just given birth, this pregnancy might be much harder on her since her body hasn't had time to recover fully...and the fact that she will have a 10 month old and newborn at the same time! And when she told me, she had just heard from my mom that we were TTC (I wasn't talking about it much since most responses are "what?! Are you crazy?!) and she told me not to give up, that I had to get pregnant this month. And I'm thinking, why would she say that? Then, she announced she is due on Christmas Day! Wow...speechless. What's even crazier, if I had been successful in March, I would also be due on Christmas. So weird! But here we are, a new niece/nephew on the way, DH and I still chugging along hoping for that miracle. We're gonna get there, I know it.

Anyways...so it's Friday, it's storming (which I LOOOVE, i know weird), and my hubby comes home tonight. For this day, I will choose to accept God's will and I know that while I'm disappointed that we haven't been blessed with a baby yet, His timing is perfect and I will wait on Him. :-) God Bless

Metformin yuck

Nausea...and more nausea...if it were because of a tiny bean growing in my belly, I'd welcome it! But sadly, it's not. It's because of the evil drug Metformin. It's supposed to lower insulin levels (which is a problem with PCOSers) and along with it comes the most horrible stomach upset and nausea you can imagine. I've gotten over the stomach upset but the nausea continues....every single day. Oh the joys of TTC. If it weren't enough that I'll be huggin the porcelain bowl if I happen to get preggo, I have to endure it everyday until then as well!

Well, enough poor me, today's a beautiful day and I plan to try to enjoy it. Today is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! Even when I don't feel like it..

Not a good day...CD1

Well, AF showed up with a fiery vengeance this morning...this is getting old. We've been actively trying since October of 2011 and we have gotten nowhere. I'm so frustrated and so hurt. Not only have we been trying for 6 months, now all of a sudden my husband has to work out of town. He is in the oilfield so he's 7 on and 7 off. Meaning, Ovulation day HAS to fall just right for us to conceive. HA! Not happening. He's been working nearby for the last year almost and now that we are trying to have a baby, he gets sent to another state. I could just scream! Don't you people know we are on a very specific schedule?? The nerve of some bosses....

So, the clomid cycle was a bust, complete waste of money and drugs. And will continue to be a complete waste for another 6 months it seems. I usually ovulate around day 10 or 11 of my cycle, which would be great if that were the case now. BUUUT on clomid, I don't O until day 18 or 19 which falls smack dab in the middle of the week he is out of town working. I may O slightly earlier this month since it's my second round on clomid but not early enough. Probably on the Monday of the week he's gone but since he has to leave a day early to drive 8 hours to work, his swimmers will not possibly still be in there even if we bd the morning he leaves. I am sooooo sad right now. I've been told by my rhuematologist that we better get a move on with the baby making if I am to get through pregnancy unscathed by my raging arthritis that is sure to show back up any day now. I've been off arthritis meds since October (since we can't take them if we are preggo) and it's been a miracle I've had no flare-ups. We had no idea it would take this long to conceive. I'm starting to feel like it will never happen...

Well, sorry for the venting and pity party...we'll keep on keeping on until something happens. And keep praying of course.

12 dpo

Hello again! So sorry for not posting for so long, it's been a hectic month! I am now 12 dpo (I think) since I ovulated later than I thought. Looks like either AF is about to show up or today is implantation day! That would be so amazing! The reason why I say that, I had some blood tinged CM at lunch but nothing more than that. If there's none tomorrow then I'll be assuming that was IB. Soooo, I've been testing every day since 9 dpo and still nothing, not even the faintest of lines :-(

On other fronts, summer is ramping up her in the south. I know, it's still April, but we start early down here. The storms come in and they are really makin the rounds this month. So looks like we've got a rough summer ahead! Hope everyone's ready for it! I'm sure I'll be bit by the spring cleaning bug soon, which my dear husband just loves because he gets a ton of "honey-do's"!

That's all for today. Hopefully I will have great news tomorrow...we shall see!

No DPO...UGH!!

Nope, O did not occur on CD13...this really sucks!!! So got my first + OPK this morning so sometime in the next 36 hours a follicle will be leaving my crazy shaped ovary only to meet with...no sperm..boooo

Hubs is out of town until Fri morning so unless some miracle happens and I don't ovulate until Thurs....no baby this month...enter crazy lady...I'm sooo bummed about this!

Oh well, guess God's asking me to wait..again..can I pray for some patience, Now please? :-(

CD 15...2 DPO???

It's CD 15 and I am so confused right now! First of all, DH left for work Friday morning so the night before was our last chance to bd for the week (he comes home next Friday morning). Last month, I O'd on CD11 so I was sorta expecting the same this month. Well, as I mentioned before, I took Clomid on days 5-9. I don't know if Clomid makes ovulation come later or not but I know I did not O on CD 11 but I was pretty sure I did on CD 13, which was Friday. The reason being, I took one of those Target brand OPK tests and Thurs it was very clearly negative...but Friday morning I took another and the line was darker. Not as dark as the control line but much darker than it had ever been. So I kept checking, 2 more times that day and then again Saturday morning and night. By Sat night, the lines were getting fainter. So, I'm assuming I O'd on Friday or they would still be getting darker? I really felt like I O'd on Friday, I was crampy and just felt off. Fri evening, I had some very strong cramps in my ovaries, mostly on the right side. So....I dunno. I'm gonna do another OPK in the morning and see if anything shows up. Not that it will matter since DH is out of town..ugh...but at least I will know one way or the other if the surge has passed or not. And I will just continue to check throughout the week until I know for sure O has passed or if it will be late.

Anyone else have this sorta trouble? I know last month, even without Clomid, I ovulated on my own. I don't think it was a very good O but my progesterone test on CD 21 said I did O. So, I'm wondering, since Clomid is said to cause a "super" ovulation, why wouldn't I get a very definitive answer on the OPKs?? Well I'm officially frustrated with it now and wish my DH was home so bad because then it wouldn't matter, we'd not miss it even if it did come later. If I didn't O on CD 13, this month may be out for us unless I end up O'ing the day before or the day he comes home. I really wish his job did not send him out of town like they've done. He's been near home working (he's a gas rig worker btw) for like the last 6 months, then the month we start actively trying to conceive, they send him off! :-(

Sorry to vent but I hope you all understand. This TTC journey is not an easy road for those of us with crazy stuff like PCOS. And I can also sympathize with military wives, I bet they have such a hard time when TTC with deployments and all. Any of you ladies out there fighting this battle, I'm here for ya and I understand!! So if you need to vent too, go for it! :-) Well I'm off for the night. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day! God Bless!