Tuesday, May 15, 2012

15 DPO, CD 1...She crashed the party

Here we go again. Just when I had a glimmer of hope, the bitch crashed the party! My normal LP is only 12 days long, now it is 14 days long. I had no clue and no warning she would show up 2 days late. But it figures! Just when we were getting around to ovulation happening on the day my husband leaves or the day after, wonderful ole' clomid throws my LP off and pushes everything back again. I'm about at my wit's end really. Is it just not meant to be? I wish I could understand and I wish I could control these things but I can't. I'm tired, frustrated, and sad, and did I mention tired? Tired of this rollercoaster of emotions and it's just ridiculous! Sorry for my rant but I have nowhere else to rant so I might as well do it here.

Another "sucky" event happened Sunday. I trashed my hip and back cleaning for my mom and could barely walk (had to get out the old trusty walker, that's always fun). Went to the dr. yesterday, missed work, and had them do a pregnancy test since I was already 2 days late but it was negative. And my silly self refused the steroid shot they wanted to give me for the pain and said "no, there's still a chance!" so I probably looked like an idiot. So I took my script for pain pills and went to my chiropractor to have her force my hip back into place which is never much fun either. But the relief was amazing. I could put weight on both legs and could walk upright so that was awesome. Still very sore from all the inflammation but huge difference from Sunday. Now I got to work this morning, turned to get out of the car and might have just messed it up again. So looks like I might be making another trip to the chiropractor. Fun and games!

So here we go again. Another cycle, setting up for disappointment. Feeling pretty cruddy today but I guess I will push on. I better go look up some encouraging verses and repeat them to myself for the next 4 weeks and keep praying.

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